Where is the biryani? That is the question of questions. At least that is what a puzzled Satiricus asked himself again and again as he again and again went through the front page serial ?Massaging Terror? that the Indian Express ran recently. It gives delightful details of how Madani is being massaged by the DMK government and buttered up by the Congress and the Left. But that, of course, is as it should be, for what else is our secular swarga for?
This ?key conspirator? in the Coimbatore bomb blasts that killed 58 people has been called a ?VVIP prisoner? in a Tamil Nadu jail. And why has this distinguished status been conferred on him? Because, explains the paper'sheadline, he is the ?most valuable ally for Left and Congress?. Naturally that explains it most satisfactorily.
So Satiricus was far from surprised to learn that when Kerala Chief Minister, Achuthanandan wrote to Tamil Nadu Chief Minister and DMK President Karunanidhi pleading for Ayurvedic treatment for this leader of a ?hard line? Muslim outfit of Kerala ?languishing in prison for more than eight years, having lost weight drastically from 104 kg to 54 kg,? Karunanidhi was ?moved?. Oh, well, ?Karuna-Nidhi? does mean a storehouse of compassion, no? So what did this official incarnation of Karuna do about it? He immediately arranged a Rs. 50,000 Ayurvedic treatment?of course at the tax-payer'scost, although as per the jail manual prisoners have to pay for private medical treatment. After all, the tax-payer'smoney is public money, and what better use for public money than to nurse a private terrorist?
Anyway, if massaging and stretching are equally important for the body'swelfare, the Congress and the Left are taking care of the latter part. For they are ?prostrate at his feet?, to quote the paper. Now there are crassly communal cusses who might be shocked at this, but not sensible, secular Satiricus. For he knows that secularists prostrating before Islamic terrorists is a time-honoured practice of Congress culture and Communist civilisation. So, so far so good. But, to come back to the question in the beginning, where'sthe biryani? When, a far short years ago, some terrorists in Kashmir holed up in a mosque after their terrorist attack, what did our secularists do? They fed them biryani. So if biryani for a terrorist of Kashmir, why not biryani for a terrorist of Kerala? Or are all terrorists equal but Kashmiri terrorists more equal?