Satire: Joining Hands, Connecting the Dolts
July 11, 2025
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Home Bharat

Satire: Joining Hands, Connecting the Dolts

Congress winning Himachal, where Rahul didn't canvass or losing Gujarat where he campaigned, clearly proves Rahul is not walking for votes. He genuinely wants to bring together India and Indians. Indians like Naxalites, Tukde Tukde gangs and even those who hate Bharat Mata

by Dr Govind Raj Shenoy
Dec 26, 2022, 12:25 pm IST
in Bharat
Rahul Gandhi with Medha Patkar, leader of anti-Sardar Sarovar Dam project in Gujarat,  during the much hyped Bharat Jodo Yatra

Rahul Gandhi with Medha Patkar, leader of anti-Sardar Sarovar Dam project in Gujarat, during the much hyped Bharat Jodo Yatra

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Rahul Gandhi is a visionary beyond comprehension who thinks far ahead of his times. He thinks so ahead that Indians have consistently failed to understand him. There is a huge gap between his thoughts and people’s understanding. Rahul began “Bharat Jodo Yatra” (BJY) with the Kanyakumari Pastor George Ponnaiah, who wears shoes to avoid contact with “filth of Bharat Mata”.

As his “Yatra” progressed, the gap seems to have further widened. Many celebrities and activists have made “guest appearances” along the way. Hollywood actor John Cusack has supported the Yatra. Prominent activists, intellectuals, artists, writers and journalists have “joined hands” with Rahul. With allegedly dumb leaders like Stalin, Aaditya Thackeray and Supriya Sule joining Rahul, people have called it “Connecting the Dolts”.

Actor Pooja Bhatt, daughter of Mahesh Bhatt (who promoted 26/11: RSS Ki Saazish book) and sister of Rahul Bhatt (Indian handler of LeT terrorist David Headley) was a prominent face. “Narmada Bachao Andolan” activist Medha Patkar, who kept Gujarat parched for decades, was there too. Eminent economist and former Governor of the Reserve Bank of India, Raghuram Rajan came to join “Hand”. Journalist Mrinal Pandey, activists Aruna Roy, Anjali Bharadwaj and author Devanooru Mahadeva joined Rahul during different stages. Bollywood actor Amol Palekar was magnanimous to hold hands, forgetting bitterness of his films Vasanakand and Quest being banned by Rahul’s party in the past. Poonam Kaur, Rashmi Desai, Sushant Singh, Mona Ambegaonkar, Riya Sen, Akanksha Puri and Nagma too joined hands with Rahul.

Right wingers have accused Rahul of colluding with Urban Naxals, anti-India forces in general and anti-Hindu forces in particular. They are pointing fingers at former CPI leader and present Congress leader Kanhaiyya Kumar, who attained notoriety as part of “Tukde Tukde” gangs of JNU. Haters have dubbed it “Bharat Todo Yaatra” or “Break India Yatra”. Then there is another JNU star Swara Bhasker, who claims to have lost work opportunities in Bollywood for speaking out against the Modi Government. Truth is, Rahul is simply trying to provide jobs to people rendered jobless by Prime Minister Narendra Modi. This Yatra is not meant to shore up his popularity or to boost electoral fortunes of Congress. Veteran Congress leader Digvijaya Singh asked the media to dissociate BJY from electoral results. Congress winning Himachal, where Rahul didn’t canvass or losing Gujarat where he campaigned, clearly proves Rahul is not walking for votes. He genuinely wants to bring together India and Indians. Indians like Naxalites, Tukde Tukde gangs and even those who hate Bharat Mata. That truly is representative of Nehruvian egalitarianism. No wonder a lot of young and older women are seen holding hands of Rahul, hugging him and even crying on his broad shoulders. Like great grandfather, like great grandson.

Rahul also has given a befitting reply to the critics, who said he is always hobnobbing with anti-Hindu forces. As the Yatra has progressed, he has become more and more Hindu. Growing an unkempt beard, shunning Sun-screen, running with kids and carrying symbols of Hinduism all over his persona, Rahul has rebranded himself as a new Hindutva icon different from Veer Savarkar brand of Hindutva. He has “Modi-fied” his looks. Some people believe, by the time BJY reaches Kashmir, he may become an ascetic or even a Naga Sadhu and head straight towards the Himalayas. That must be a scary thought for BJP leadership.

Various allegations have not deterred Rahul. Allegations like “Pakistan Zindabad” slogans being shouted during his Yatra. He is confident that “Neutral” fact checkers, Wikipedia and actor Prakash Raj will prove them fake. “If the constitution is to be saved, get ready to kill Modi”, said Madhya Pradesh Congress leader Raja Pateria. Without doubt, Courts and Congress will protect his freedom of expression

Rahul has snatched Ram from RSS and BJP and redefined Ram like nobody else before him. He pointed out, BJP people always say, “Jai Sri Ram” and not “Jai Siya Ram”, because they have no respect for women. “Why are they taking Siya out of Ram?” asked Rahul and then reminded us of the second slogan “Hey Ram!”. Gandhiji said, “Hey Ram, Hey Ram, Hey Ram” when he was shot by Godse. Uninformed Godse claimed, “Gandhi just said Ah and fell down.” Quite obviously Rahul knows better. His great grandfather Nehru told us, Gandhiji’s last words were “Hey Ram!” Only Rahul knows Gandhiji said “Hey Ram ” not once, but thrice. That is the connect Rahul has with time, past and future.

Various allegations have not deterred Rahul. Allegations like “Pakistan Zindabad” slogans are are being shouted during his Yatra. He’s confident that “Neutral” fact checkers, Wikipedia and actor Prakash Raj will prove them fake. After all, they have successfully certified his statement “Modi cannot protect Nirmala Sitaraman but begs her to save him” as not sexist. “If the Constitution is to be saved, get ready to kill Modi”, said Madhya Pradesh Congress leader Raja Pateria. Without doubt, Courts and Congress will protect his freedom of expression.

Rahul also has addressed the allegations that he keeps going on foreign holidays way too often. He hasn’t gone abroad in three months since the September 7 launch of BJY. Not even during Diwali break. Reportedly, this is the longest he has stayed in India in his lifetime. That proves how sincere he is to the cause. Detractors are waiting for Christmas – New Year break now. Will Rahul visit his Naani in Italy? Rahul baiters are ready with the barb “Bharat Chhodo Yatra” or “Leave India Yatra”. In the meantime, every time the Indian Parliament is in session, the Chinese army has made it a ritual to create skirmishes at Galwan or Tawang. Questions are being asked, “Is this part of the MoU between Congress and the Chinese Communist Party?” Wicked insinuations questioning commitment of Congress and Rahul towards India. Rahul is not a coward to skirt these questions. India awaits Rahul to come out with Taapsee Pannu–level of befitting reply.

Topics: CongressRahul GandhiChineseVeer SavarkarModi governmentBharat Jodo YatraGalwan or TawangBharat Chhodo Yatra
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