NEW DELHI – When it was announced that her illustrious father would receive the highest civilian award, the Bharat Ratna, tears instantly welled up in Pratibha Advani’s eyes. It was a profound honour, and knowing her father intimately, more as a person than just a politician, she felt he truly deserved such unique recognition.
Bharat Ratna means a great deal to her because she has witnessed her father, the legendary Lal Krishna Advani’s deep patriotism throughout her life. “Bharat Ratna means a lot to me because, since childhood, I have seen my father’s eyes brim with tears every time he salutes the national flag.”
His devotion to the nation’s progress is unwavering, making the highest civilian honour all the more poignant for both of them. Despite being a man of few words, when she informed her ‘Dada’ (a Sindhi word for father) about the award, they shared a moment of tearful joy.
“I am thankful to the government, the Prime Minister, and most importantly, to the people of our great country – Bharat, who have given him a lot of love, affection, and respect over the years. My heart is full of gratitude.”
Taking care of her parents has always been Pratibha’s priority. Her parents married late by Indian standards; her mother was 33, and her father was 38 when they wed in 1965. They were both migrants who had faced significant hardships during the partition.
Her father joined the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) at 14; by 20, he was deeply involved in its activities. Pratibha’s mother, coming from a once-wealthy family, had to abandon her studies to support her family after migrating.
Their struggles and late start in life meant a substantial age gap between them and her. Pratibha was aware from a young age that they might age faster than her friends’ parents.
Bond with Parents
Her bond with her parents has always been strong. Her world revolved around them, and even after starting her career, their approval meant everything to her. In 2012, when her mother fell ill, she didn’t hesitate to leave her professional life behind to care for her.
She nursed her mother for four years until her passing in 2016. Watching her decline was heartbreaking, but Pratibha was driven by a profound sense of duty and love.
She has a background in zoology, which provided her with some medical knowledge, aiding her in her mother’s care. Caring for elderly parents is often compared to caring for children, but, according to Pratibha, it’s a path of decline rather than growth, making it emotionally challenging.
Losing her mother was a devastating blow, especially for her father and herself. They were extremely close, and her absence left a void. Her father, though stoic, was deeply affected, and she had to remind him that she too had lost someone incredibly dear.
To cope, they began travelling together, something he had never done as a tourist. These trips, from 2016 to 2020, brought them closer and allowed them to create cherished memories. Little moments, like buying his shoes together in Hong Kong, became precious experiences.
Emotional Quotient
Elder care for Pratibha has never felt like a burden. It is a natural expression of love and respect for her parents. Despite the hardships, there is immense contentment in knowing she has done her best for them.
For those caring for elderly parents, she urged them to spend quality time with them. Emotional support from family is irreplaceable. Loneliness can be more detrimental to their well-being than any physical ailment.
“Patience is crucial; remember, they were patient with us when we were children,” she remarked.
Recipe of Long Life
Her father’s longevity and health, even at 96, can be attributed to his simple lifestyle and positive outlook. He is a small eater, adhering to eating to live rather than living to eat.
His absence of negativity and ability to forgive significantly contributes to his well-being. Even when angered, he takes a nap to calm down, waking up refreshed and without resentment. His positive disposition and magnanimity are well-known and these qualities have certainly impacted his health positively.
Her father remains intellectually active, enjoying books, music, and films. His favourite films and books continue to provide him joy and mental stimulation.
Although his interest in new gadgets has waned, his love for reading and staying informed persists. Their shared activities, like reading inspirational books such as “Ikigai,” keep them engaged and connected.
Dalai Lama’s Wisdom
Their family’s love and support have also played a crucial role. After her mother’s passing, Pratibha and her father supported each other through the grief. Her father’s disciplined life remains unchanged, but he misses his wife deeply.
She keeps her mother’s memory alive by talking about her daily, ensuring her spirit stays with them. This practice has helped them cope with the loss.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s words, “Physically separate, spiritually always together,” have been a guiding light for Pratibha, reinforcing the belief that her mother’s spirit is always with them.
Blessed Daughter
Being her father’s daughter is a blessing Pratibha cherishes deeply. His life and principles are a source of inspiration. She admires and strives to emulate his ability to connect with people, respect different perspectives, and maintain a positive outlook. His humility and magnanimity are not just public perceptions but the essence of who he is.
Pratibha feels incredibly blessed and fulfilled to have such a father, and feels she could not ask for more in this life or any other.
Her life’s greatest contentment comes from knowing she has done her best for her parents, and she continues to feel their love and presence guiding her.
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