Think It Over How to win the rat race

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Dedicated to the children of Macaulay and the secularists.?Author

Give unto God what is God'sand unto Caesar (rulers) what is Caesar?s. Be ready, then, my good friends, to creep and crawl before them both. And do before your rulers what you do before your gods?prostrate prostrate, prostrate. Or, if it comes to that, good friends, you should carry your ruler'sdonkey on your shoulders to ease it of its labour.

This is what men of your ilk have done before and this is what you will do in the future, too, for, remember, although your future is tied to your inexorable karma, your gods have not given up their power to punish, pardon and patronise. Which is why you should continue to worship your gods and your rulers.

This being so, my esteemed friends, would it not better to teach your children the art to crawl and creep and climb, and not the three R?s? Remember, the turnpike to success is through the mouth and not through the mind. And the mouths in India are many and multiplying. And they are as wide as that of any hippo. The young mouths open up as wide as the older ones and there is not enough to go into all. Hence the struggle, hence the rate race, the catch as catch can and all that. Everyone wants to discover the latest route to success even if it means traspassing on the rights of others. In any case, how can one keep to the narrow and straight path, when it comes to make both ends meet? To make both ends meet, we must be ready to bend and the more you bend before the gods and your rulers, the closer the ends come to meet each other.

We are told money never made a man happy. But no man'scredit in heaven is as good as his cash here on earth. Cash means power, honour, glory, success?everything. And no one asks you how you came by the moolah in these days of amnesties. The only question asked is: have you got it and how much? The more the better.

And if you want to come by hard cash, know that the two cannot go together?honesty and cash. You have to give up honesty. The Greek god Hermes, the messenger of the gods, was patron of both traders and thieves.

But not all of us can have the patronage of the good god Hermes, for most of us are not in trading and thieving. We attend to other professions. How do you make a success of these professions? There is only one way: you must create your own patron god. Or you must have patrons among your rulers. Court favours place a man above his equals. And flattery and psychophancy are the easiest ways to propitiate your rulers. Even the gods are not free from this weakness. ?Who is like unto thee, O Lord, among the gods?? asks a Jewish prayer. And Yahweh was mighty pleased and promptly entered into a covenant with the Jews. And we must worship the rising Sun (son?) and not the setting sun, although, good friends, you can live today on the ?glory? of your ancestors. All that you have to do is to set up a chapel or samadhi or memorial in their name, offer incense of chadhors and hepresto you will have money pouring into your donation chest.

There is a saying: ?To his dog, every man is Napoleon.? That is why dogs are always very popular with the rich and powerful. They want someone to wag the tail. Learn to wag the tail before the high and mighty.

Nobody is indispensable. But woe to you if your allow someone to find out that you are dispensable. Act always big, for through persistence even a dwarf may appear big.

Success lies in making your job look big and hard. Size makes a great impression on men. And never make decisions, for you will be held accountable. And never make a judgement on men, for how can you make out that one is good or bad when everyone is in a masquerade?

On the door to success is written: ?Push and pull??push when you have a prop to do so and pull when you have a string to pull. And when you have neither push nor pull, your wife can be of help. No Caesar has survived the charms of a Cleopatra!

You cannot make it to the billion if you have no capital to start with. And if you have none, use cunning. Cunning is the seed-capital of most of our politicians. They take money from the rich and votes from the poor. And if you are in politics, never enter a door unless you see an exit sign in bold letters.

?Tomorrow? is a promissory note in politics. Today is what matters. Remember, in politics, as in a sick bed, one keeps tossing from side to side, from party to party, till you are in a position of greater comfort.

The world is full of pathetic men, who are always on their bended knees before their god-men. Use the god-men to control the pathetic men.

These are days of brand promotion. You can promote anything?even a peanut farmer to the US Presidency! This is the work of graffiti and sales talk. Send a dog into space and he will return a celeb. See how the hen cackles when it lays an egg. You must cackle about your ?achievements? till you get noticed.

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