Enough is enough. So long?for a long, long time?Satiricus had dejectedly deemed himself dull, dense and dumb. No more. On the contrary, he now thinks he is qualified enough to apply for membership of an elite, international club of highly intelligent people, called ?mensa?. The other day he read in the papers that this club'sIndian chapter is looking for members from assorted fields ?not traditionally associated with a high IQ?, because it wants to change the popular perception that ?intelligence means being extremely good in mathematics or possessing a great vocabulary?. But of course Satiricus is not an assorted intellectual, he is a journalist. So he automatically possesses a great vocabulary, which automatically makes him a great intellectual.
?Vocabulary?, after all, means a collection of words, and does it not require great intelligence to say nothing in so many words, which is the core of modern journalism. And it calls for still greater intelligence when you want to hide a hard truth behind a soft word, which is the core of secular journalism.
In fact Satiricus would say a great vocabulary is a great asset of secularism. Right from the green-letter day secularism descended upon India like manna from heaven, words have been the precious pillars of the fourth estate of our realm?especially secular words that could cover up communal reality. For instance, Satiricus recalls that, decades ago, whenever there was a communal riot, it was always a clash between two communities?what communities was discreetly left unsaid. For secularism required that there should be no Hindus in Hindusthan nor Muslims in India. Later Hindus began to be named, especially when something was to be said against them, but Muslims? Oh, no. There were no Muslims, only minorities. Still later, when Kashmir became a killing field, there were extremists and then there were militants, but no terrorists.
Finally, now, our great vocabulary has shown the greatness of mind to acknowledge that there are indeed terrorists. See? It is only thanks to his great intelligence that Satiricus has been able to appreciate this great game of secular verbosity. And of course it would be very unintelligent to expect that secular words should have communal meanings.