The book is about relationships that breaks and how to do something about it before it is too late. It also provides answers to some very intriguing questions:
* Do you deal with problems to your satisfaction?
* Are you happy with the depth of the relationship with your partner?
* Do you have a working understanding of what makes her tick?
* Do you know what to do when one or both of you get stuck?
* Is everything okay in your relationship?
The book is meant for any man who is trying to understand the woman in his life. Written by a psychotherapist and leading Australian Gestalt practitioner, this book goes deep into ?their relationship? in which ?men do not take problems seriously enough until it'stoo late. This book is about seeing where the difficulties are for both of you, learning what it is you are doing and then realising how to improve things. It'salso about bring proactive and preventing some of the problems from developing in the first place?.
Under the section on communication, the author says that ?fair fighting can be constructive? so long as put-downs, threats, name-calling or manipulating or fighting when drunk are not resorted to. One should know when to step back, apologise when appropriate, deal with anxiety, set one'sown agenda aside, acknowledge when you are hurt, refrain from entering the ?revenge zone?, stay in the present and remain focused in he middle of a storm. In short, one must find creative solutions to issues and not be stubborn.
In another section, the author wants us to reflect on who we are, what we are good at in a relationships and where our ?growing edge? is and target at the growing edge (blind spots). If interested in spirituality, do it regularly and if not, then support the partner'sinterests. Work out an ethical framework and be prepared to invite the partner to challenge you on how much you live by the values.
In the section regarding ?her?, the author advises, ?A woman knows things, so listen to her opinions? and take her seriously; never criticise your partner; understand her moods and need for ?space? for appreciation and love and remember what feminism tells us.?
Talking about the relationship, the author suggest points which work for everyone, work towards empowering both you and the partner, keep in mind each other'sexpectations, boundaries and limits, offer least resistance unless provoked, avoid telling lies and never force the partner into anything against her will.
When discussing family life, the author stresses on ?learning from history to make sense of the present?, i.e. learn from past mistakes. However, family relationships should be honoured but give precedence to current family relationship, children, work, money and domestic activities. Acknowledge the partner'scontribution to domestic chores and give her a break. Lastly he advises the male partner not to put up with abuse nor perpetuate I and avoid drugs and alcohol abuse; when she fails to cope with her duties, be strong and support her and give her a breather and if sensing depression in her, pursue ways to bring pleasure into her and your life so as not to damage either'shealth and relationships.
This book helps men understand how to live with the perplexing fairer sex?the woman and adopt life-changing skills in a remarkable manner.
(Macmillan India Ltd, 2/10 Ansari Road, Darya Ganj, New Delhi-110 002.)
