Mridula Sinha
IT is a common belief that women are more sensitive or emotional than men. In practice we can find the other side also. Kamla was very shaky from her very childhood. She used to break at a minor shock also. She could not easily argue with her relatives or friends. Whenever anyone wanted to argue with her, she started crying. Her parents were very much perturbed while sending her to inlaws house after marriage. Her mother requested her son-in-law to take special care of her daughter’s emotional moods.
Kamla’s husband was very much conscious while reading her moods. Very soon he realized that Kamla’s mother could not read her correctly. Kamla was much stronger than her husband. After a short time she started showing her strength and practical views to her in-laws family. Her husband used to share his official problems with her, she used to suggest practical solutions to the problems. She started saying- “Do not behave like a weak person. You must have patience to listen to others. The moment you loose your patience or show your weakness, other people will start using your emotions. Be practical while dealing with me also.”
Rajesh was very much surprised to hear those strong words from his wife’s mouth, whom he thought to be weak. It was his impression about women in general and wife in particular. Her words and behaviour compelled him to change his impression about women.
Reena lost her husband and Shidharth his wife in a car accident. Reena was only a house wife. But after the death of her husband she started some work to earn money for her household expenditure. Sidharth was running some business. After the death of his wife he was broken and could not run his business. Once he came to ask the welfare of Reena and was surprised to see her engaged in running a small business and looking after her two kids and household activities. Sidharth started crying for his beloved wife. Reena consoled him and said-“Look, if you will be crying the whole life for your wife, she is not going to come again. be practical. You must see ahead. If you are always weeping for your wife, nobody is going to weep with you.”
Sidharth realised that Reena is much more practical than him. He used to visit her frequently and listen to her suggestions. Sidharth is now happier than before.
Our sympathy always goes towards widows not to widowers. In real life widows are more stronger and practical, while widowers are unable to run their houses without their wives. Nature has put emotional elements in both men and women, through these elements only we are able to understand the problems of mankind and do some positive work to solve the problems. Life is full of happiness and sorrow. We pass through the moment of test when sorrow comes in our life. Men and women, both have to face unavoidable situations. It is seen in society that women face such situations more strongly. I have very closely observed three generations of men in my own family. They are seen very strong from outside. They used to utter hard words, show their strength, but they are emotionally very weak. They need emotional support from women, be their mothers, wives, or daughters. One can say that emotionally men are fully dependent on their close women relatives. We always quote Manu’s (The law giver) saying. He wrote in ‘Manu Smriti’ the that three stages of life of women depends on men. In childhood she is under the control of father, in youth women’s life is controlled by her husband and in old age she is under the control of her son. She never leads a free life. I always see the other side of the coin. It has been my sixty years of observation that in families men are fully dependent on women. In childhood, the mother takes care of his emotions, after marriage he is fully dependent on his wife and in old age his daughter or daughter in law takes care of his emotions and other demands.
In practical life, it is seen that women have got special sense of understanding of other’s moods. She can a read easily the thinking going on in a male member’s mind, while men fail to read the moods of women. That’s why he always use loud words.
There is no need of comparing supremacy of man and woman in every field. By nature they are not equal. That’s why they are complementary to each other. Both need others help and company to live a happy life. In raring and caring of children the parents, both have equal responsibilities. In Hindu mythology the position of men and women are shown and explained by some symbols also. The concept of Ardhnarishwar (half Shiv and half Parvati) explains the dependence of both man and woman on each other. One cannot even imagine the existence of one without the other.
While framing the laws for protection of women in home, office and society, we must consider the differences and natural equalities and contrasts between men and women. One must aceess matured dependence on each other. Failing in understanding their behavioural qualities, we cannot make laws which will be useful in protecting the stronger sex. In the next issue I will try to explain how women are physically stronger than men but they need men’s help. First we must try to stop calling her “”weaker sex”.
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